Goodbye, Digger

TigerBlog was going backward.

Literally, as in scrolling back through years and years of old text messages. His mind was going backwards too, back to a few weeks ago, which in turn took him back 30 years before that. 

He smiled a bit while he did all this. It didn't last, though. The only thing that lasted was the hurt and the sadness, which came from the reality of the day, which simply hovered over everything else in a way that TB couldn't escape, despite his best efforts.

There was only one reality. You can't go back. 

Maybe your mind can. Maybe your memories can flood back. The clock, though, the clock is always ticking. Sometimes – sadly, horribly, tragically – the clock runs out.

Steve DiGregorio passed away Tuesday night at the young age of 60. He fought his hardest against the cancer that had attacked him, held on as long as he could. 

He was one of the best friends TigerBlog will ever have. He was one of the best people TigerBlog will ever meet. He had one of the biggest hearts TigerBlog has ever seen. He was one of the most loyal people he's ever come across.

He was someone whom TB looked at more than once and thought "if you could be more like he is, you'd be a better person."

Digger, as he was known to everyone, spent 13 years with the Princeton football team as an assistant coach, leaving after the 1999 season. He became a high school coach and teacher in New Jersey, and as recently as one year ago, he was the New Jersey high school coach of the year after leading Nutley High to a perfect season.

There was a lot of sadness yesterday. There were tears from every Princeton football player and Nutley football player that Digger ever coached, wherever they were when the found out the news, however long its been since they last saw him.

Digger beat the cancer once, and in fact he was working in a non-coaching capacity with the Princeton football team as training camp this summer was beginning. Then it all turned, quickly, shockingly, tragically.

There aren't too many families out there quite like the DiGregorio family. There aren't too many people tougher than Nadia DiGregorio, Digger's wife of 30 years. If there is someone tougher, it might be Derek DiGregorio, their middle child, who has faced head on a rare disease called Ataxia-Telangcietasia, something nobody had ever heard of when the diagnosis first came around all those years ago. 

Together, the DiGregorios attacked, forming a foundation called "Derek's Dreams" and raising money and awareness for research and a cure. The family, including Derek's brothers Zack and Aaron, reached out to the people they knew for help, and everyone they knew dove in to do whatever it was they could.

That's how much the DiGregorios are loved. 

TigerBlog met Digger when he was still in the newspaper business. They became really close once TB started working in Jadwin, and he would often head down the hall to Digger's office for breaks here and there. They would talk about anything and everything - Princeton football, history, raising kids who were very little at the time and their mutual love of the 1970s TV show "The Odd Couple."

Yesterday, as TB was trying to process what happened, he scrolled back through all of his old text messages from Digger. Each year on Nov. 13, Digger texted TB the YouTube clip of the opening credits of "The Odd Couple," which includes "On Nov. 13, Felix Unger was asked to remove himself from his place of residence."

The text messages brought back a lot of laughs with Digger. And that's what Digger loved to do. Laugh. He had a deep, husky, staccato voice with an accompanying laugh, and there was no way to be in his presence for long before you heard it. His humor was dry and sarcastic, and he loved to make fun of people and be made fun of himself. 

Going back through those messages was nice. It's just that, as TB said before, it didn't change the reality of the situation.

It was early September when it all started to become clear that this was not going to go well for Digger. Soon he was in hospice care, first in the hospital and then at home. That the end was coming didn't make it any easier when it finally rolled around. 

TB went to see him several times in the last few weeks of his life. One of those times, while he was still in the hospital, it was just two of them for a few minutes. Digger asked TB if he knew what the prognosis was, and TB nodded slowly. Then Digger asked if TB would do him a favor. 

"Of course," TB said. What was the favor? "Would you write my obituary?"

And so TB did. it wasn't easy. It's not something that he wanted to do. It was chilling, actually. It was horrible. It made TB cry. But it was important to Digger, so it was something TB wanted to do perfectly for him.

The last time he'd see Digger was two Sundays ago. He went over to the DiGregorio's house, where Digger was set up in a hospital bed downstairs. The TV was on, showing the Giants-Saints game. Nadia was there. So were the three boys. A few other friends came in and out. Hank Towns, the former Princeton equipment manager, was there.

As they sat there, it was, again, like old times. Aaron got up and left the room, and immediately everyone else started ragging on him. Derek gave TB a hard time for eating more than one of the soft pretzels. Everyone told funny stories, and everyone laughed. That's what there was more than anything else. Laughter.

It's how it should have been, even in the final days of Digger's life. Or maybe especially in those days. 

Digger could still laugh. He was still into the football game. He was, if it's possible to say this, happy.

TB, from his seat, could look out the window at the sunshine. He remembers clearly thinking one thing: It's too bad this day has to end. 

The clock, though, kept ticking.

Eventually TB got up to leave that day. He walked around the side of the bed, and put his hand on Digger's. He bent over to say goodbye, still hoping he'd get to see him again. Maybe Digger knew that wasn't going to happen. 

As TB said goodbye, Digger whispered – he could only whisper by then – what as it turned out would be the last thing he'd ever say to TigerBlog. After 30-plus years of friendship, 30-plus years of being invested in each other's lives, of being there for each other, of sharing lines from an old TV show that would crack them up, after so many nights of watching Princeton basketball in Jadwin Gym, after all the bike rides to raise money for the fight against A-T, for all of that, this is the last thing Digger ever said to TB:

"I love you brother."

TB will never forget that. He'll never forget Steve DiGregorio. And he'll never forget what his response to his friend was:

"I love you too."

They both meant it. 

Rest in peace, Steve DiGregorio. It was an honor to be your friend.