There Is No Answer

TigerBlog had to be somewhere in town the other day, and he was running a bit early.

He found himself near the Princeton cemetery, and so he decided he would go visit the grave of his late friend Steve DiGregorio. He knew basically where it was, and so he parked and walked through the gates.

It took him 30 seconds to find the general area and then 10 minutes or so to zero in on the headstone. He walked over and nodded his head when he got there. He could hear Digger's voice.

"Hey. I've been here the whole time."

Seriously, he could actually hear those words in Digger's voice. It made him laugh a bit. He thinks Digger would be happy to know that. 

It's been nearly two years since he's been gone. TigerBlog can't count the number of times that he's thought of his friend is that time, but it's a lot. Something comes up, and the first thought is "Digger would have laughed at this."

The sadness doesn't go away. The reality hits home every time. You can laugh at his memory, but you can't make him come back.

TigerBlog wrote yesterday about the passing of James Mastaglio, one of the Princeton men's basketball greats from the Class of 1998. He figures that Mastaglio's teammates will come to feel the same as he does about Steve DiGregorio as time goes by: They'll remember all the good times and won't let anything about him fade, and that will have to be good enough when the harshness filters back in.

TB spent a lot of time Wednesday speaking with Sean Gregory, one of Mastaglio's teammates and classmates and now a great writer with Time Magazine. In fact, TB pulled off into a rest area on the New Jersey Turnpike to forward Gregory the obituary TB had written to get Gregory's feedback and to have him share it with the Mastaglios before it was posted.

Writing obituaries is quite emotional. TB has written far too many of them the last few years. 

As he got back on the road, TigerBlog was struck by the shock of having someone like Mastaglio taken away at such an early age and contrasting that with where he had just been. Specifically, TigerBlog was driving back after having breakfast with his father, who will be turning 88 soon.

Digger was 60 at the time of his death. Mastaglio was 47. TB's mother was 55. 

Everyone knows someone who falls into the category of someone who was taken far too young. As for FatherBlog, as TB said, he's about to turn 88. He hasn't exactly done everything he can to ensure good health and longevity, and yet here he is.

As TB drove along, he wondered what to make out of all of it. Every time he tries, he realizes that there is no answer.

TB heard from a lot of people at Stags. One of those was another teammate, Jose Ramirez Del-Toro, now a sports medicine doctor. This is what Jose texted TB:

In my mind, the saddest thing is his kids. He loved his kids and they adored him. Last time I saw him, we were getting shots up in Jadwin and his daughter was there. He was so proud of her and so patient teaching her to shoot. And she hung on his every word. It was super cute. Big Pete was watching from the sidelines completely wrapped up in the moment of his son and granddaughter… I remember thinking that there’s nothing like fatherhood and Stags was in heaven at that moment. Totally at peace hanging out with her! It’s all so sad makes me sick to my stomach…

That is exactly how TB feels.

He also heard from his colleague with the Princeton Varsity Club Brendan van Ackeren, someone who didn't know Stags well. This is what Brendan said:

Stags news…so crushing. Knew the guy for 1 day and could feel his larger than life personality My images of him that one and only day are 1) shooting hoops with his kids on the court in Jadwin with his dad and wife overlooking and 2) hanging with his boys reminiscing about the glory days. They day we all dream about.

Brendan, whose words were perfect, also sent TB a photo that he tried to find yesterday. It shows Mastaglio this past February, when he and his teammates were honored for their successes a quarter-century earlier. 

Stags is smiling and waving to the crowd. Gregory is to his right, clapping. Steve Goodrich is next to him, smiling and clapping. Jason Osier is next to Goodrich, also smiling. 

They'll never forget their friend and teammate. 

As for why? As TB said, there is no answer.