Everybody Needs An Oph

TigerBlog was at the men's basketball banquet in the lobby of Jadwin Gym in 1992 when Pete Carril first announced the Paul Friedman Award.

He did so in a way that TB can't forget, even 30 years later. Carril told the story of Friedman, who came to Princeton to try to fulfill his dream of playing for the Tigers, even as Carril told him he never would. After two years of tireless work, he finally made it onto the varsity team — only to find out he had cancer, which would kill him shortly after he graduated in 1981.

Friedman did make it into three varsity games as a junior, and he scored his only career points with a basket in a loss at San Francisco. As Carril told his story, it wasn't about basketball ability; it was about perserverence, determination and effort. It was about giving your very best every day in every way. 

And that's the language of the award. It's given to the member of the program who does his very best, every day in every way. The first winner was Sean Jackson. It was presented by Friedman's parents. 

It was a very, very emotional scene, and it's stuck with TB for how genuine it was. In fact, until Saturday night, it was the Princeton team banquet that he most remembered, for all the ones he's attended.

This past Saturday, though, he got to attend the field hockey banquet in Prospect House. TB, you probably know, finished his second year as the field hockey contact this past fall, when the Tigers went 7-0 in the league and returned to the NCAA tournament.

That wasn't the focus of the banquet (though the season's highlights were well captured in a video put together by junior Gracie McGowan). 

No, the theme on this night can be summed up in the words of junior Bridget Murphy, who said: "Everybody needs an Oph in their life."

That's not "oaf," as in its dictionary definition of "a clumsy, stupid or uncultured person." This was "Oph," which is pronounced the same but has quite a different meaning.

"Oph" is short for "Ophelie," as in Ophelie Bemelmans, one of the eight Tiger field hockey seniors and an All-Ivy League selection in 2022. Each of the seniors had another player talk about her, and Murphy went first, talking about Bemelmans.

It did not take long to realize just how much Murphy's words were coming from the heart. She spoke about their friendship and about what it has meant to her, and when she was done, Bemelmans, and pretty much everyone else, was teary.

It continued that way through the next seven seniors. TB made some notes of what was said: 

* "The relationship between goalie and defender is a safety net that allows the rest of the team to take chances."

* "A great teammate is willing to play any role on the team to make it better."

* "She goes out of her way to make sure everyone on the team is seen and heard."

* "She's changed my experience at Princeton and my outlook on life in general."

* "I think the most precious kinds of players are those who know when to be serious and to strive for excellence while also remaining aware of the importance of their own and their teammates' emotional well-being."

* "Perhaps one of the greatest abilities of a leader is the flexibility to do whatever it takes to help the team."

* "She'd say 'they should be nervous to play us, not the other way around."

* She's been a second sister when I wanted it and a second mother when I needed it."

That last one is particularly telling. If you ever wanted to sum up exactly what it means to be a great teammate, and a great friend in particular, you can't do it much better than that.

The evening began with head coach Carla Tagliente's speech, including this: "For all the people you see raising trophies, you don't see the tears they shed along the way."

Her implication was clear. The celebrations that take plus in the public eye don't happen without hard work and commitment and without the ability to push through the tough times. 

The tears that were shed Saturday night were a different kind. They were the emotions that are built through shared sacrifices, shared moments, shared wins, shared losses, shared laughter and shared sadness. 

These were such amazingly genuine tears, brought on by words that came straight from the heart.

Much like 1992, TigerBlog won't be forgetting this one anytime soon.